SoulFul 21 – Liz Murray

Chuck out the barriers and go ahead !! Elizabeth Murray was born on September 23, 1980, to drug addicted parents in a filthy apartment of New York. At the early age of 15, this girl became roofless when her mother died of AIDS and father moved to a homeless shelter. Sometimes on park benches and sometimes on subways, she spent her nights in extremely baneful environments but she never missed the chance to read encyclopedias, recovered from the public trash boxes.

Driven by persistence and obsession for hard work, she never surrendered in her way and finally she got listed in the Harvard University. Presently, Liz is an eminent inspirational speaker as well as director of a company, which empower grownups to make something innovative in their lives.

Sources -Topyaps.com

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Clearly Elizabeth is an extraordinary woman. Although I am starting to question if being extraordinary is really more being normal than anything else. This is our natural state, releasing our true potential. Before we allowed it all to be cloaked up by unnecessary self doubt, unreasonable beliefs derived from society and unrealistic expectations on things that don’t even matter at the end of the day.

I love how Elizabeth chose to focus on the positive sides too of her childhood. Most of us have yet form this powerful habits. Whatever that happens in life, good or bad, who knows?

One can tell how stable and balanced she is when she said,” Although my parents were in this state but they were also very loving. In many ways, I grew up in a very loving household, my parents just happened to be very badly addicted to drugs.” She accepted that her parents are not perfect but she did not reject them because of it.

She did not believe in external control psychology, instead she chose her response to her environment and acted on the power that her choices have. And indeed, with her personal experiences, she transformed her own life for the better and choose to make it her life’s work to inspire and help others. Spectacular.

What about you?

What story are you telling about a person, situation or a belief that is not empowering you?
What “negative” story are you repeating to everyone that you meet that you can practically memorize it?

Examine your behaviour and your thoughts. You might be surprised what comes out of it.

Remember what Elizabeth said,”

This moment,

right here right now,

I get to decide what’s next.

Thank you for reading. 🙂

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

​ Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

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SoulFul 20 – Jessica Cox

 

Well known for being the first pilot to fly a plane using ONLY feet, Jessica Cox was born WITHOUT arms but this deficiency was ineffective to stop this wonder lady from capturing her goals. A graduate in psychology, holder of two black belts in Taekwondo, fond of fast driving, Jessica can also type 25 words/minute on computer and surprisingly she can put contact lenses in eyes, using her feet. She is also a motivational speaker and encourages disable people to change their stereotyped mentality.

Source – Topyaps.com

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This has got to be one of my favourite SoulFul individual. She is extremely inspiring for me especially since I am interested to learn flying too but is a little nervous about it. But I will keep Jessica’s simple words of truth in mind. Just do it.

What she says and does are in alignment. She could have mope about her disability and how the life have dealt her a cruel blow. After all, no one could figure out why she was born that way.

Instead, she choose to be positive and to go about fulfilling everything she wanted to do in life. Extraordinary. Because of that, she fulfilled her power needs, she knew who she was and the more she did it, the more she rewarded herself with greater self empowerment. Along with it, she also fulfilled her freedom and fun needs. Awesome! 🙂

• What have you been wanting to do but is nervous about?
• Or what have you been waiting to improve on but always has a reason not o?

Remember, JUST DO IT. 🙂

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

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SoulFul 18 – Park Geun-hye

 

Park Geun-hye

Following her high school graduation, Park Geun-hye enrolled at Sogang University in Seoul, South Korea, where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree in engineering in 1974.

That same year, she suffered a tremendous tragedy: Her mother was shot and killed by North Korean assassin Mun Segwang, whose bullet was intended for the president. Citizens deeply mourned the death of Yuk Young-soo, who remains widely regarded as the country’s most popular and beloved first lady.

Amidst her personal grief, Park was instated as the nation’s acting first lady—a title requiring newfound responsibility for recent college graduate, who was then just 22 years old. But Park acclimated well to the political world: Early into her role as first lady, she gracefully and efficiently greeted dignitaries and conducted affairs of state, among a number of other responsibilities.

Five years after her mother’s murder, tragedy struck again: Park’s father, President Park Chung-hee, was assassinated at a dinner by his own intelligence chief, Kim Jae-kyu, on October 26, 1979.

Source – biography.com

She is the first woman to be elected as President in South Korea and is serving the 18th presidential term. She also is the first female head of state in the modern history of Northeastern Asia[3] and is the first South Korean president to have been born a South Korean citizen. Prior to her presidency, she was the chairwoman of the conservative Grand National Party (GNP) between 2004 and 2006 and between 2011 and 2012 (the GNP changed its name to the “Saenuri Party” in February 2012). Park was also a member of the Korean National Assembly and served four complete consecutive parliamentary terms as a constituency representative between 1998 and 2012; she started her fifth term as a proportional representative in June 2012. Her father was Park Chung-hee,President of South Korea from 1962 to 1979. She is generally considered to be one of the most influential politicians in South Korea.

Sources – Wikipedia

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This is an extraordinary woman who does her best to realize her fullest potential despite multiple personal tragedies one after another. She found the strength within to rise above the circumstances to do what she believes in. She made the choice to continue on despite having to do so without the presence and the support of both her parents.

It is only possible because she believed in herself. Self worth is precious and priceless.

• When you look into the mirror, who do you see?
  What does this person in the mirror stands for?
• What does this person in the mirror dreams?
• How do we go from dreaming to materializing?

Believe and achieve.

Be kind to yourself today.

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​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

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SoulFul- 8 Arianna

MOTHER/DAUGHTER DUO TACKLE ADAPTIVE RUNNING, MAKE DISABILITIES DISAPPEAR

In a way, distance runners create their own magic.
They pull miles and miles out of their hats, and in full stride, they make energy gels seemingly appear out of thin air.

Dedicated runners are able to multiply race bibs like white rabbits (though many wish they could multiply those hard-to-come-by safety pins, too).In one of their greatest acts, the mother/daughter running duo known as Team Ari, has figured out a way to make disabilities disappear. Kelli Tanghe, and her 15-year-old daughter, Arianna, created Team Ari, all out of a simple desire to run together.

Up and Running

Born with cerebral palsy and being visually impaired, Ari endured numerous hospital visits and physical therapy appointments as a young child.Kelli made a promise to herself through it all.In 2006, Ari started walking by herself, so Kelli laced up her sneakers extra tight, and got to running.

 

Both mother and daughter got to experience a new way of getting around in their worlds.With her husband, Michael, and her two oldest children, Lindsay and Nick, who were heavily involved in high school athletics, Kelli had some good support and motivation as she tipped her toes into the water.

In fact, Nick paced her in her very first 5K.Kelli enjoyed it so much that she stretched her legs into the world of half marathons, marathons, and even a couple of 50-mile ultra races.

In her eyes, one of the real perks of running was being able to run with Lindsay and Nick.The only problem was that because they didn’t have the necessary equipment, Ari wasn’t able to accompany her mom on the roads.

However, she never let up on asking to go.Disappearing DisabilityAri entered middle school in 2012, and it was a very difficult time for her.

“She wasn’t able to keep up with her peer group,” Kelli said. “She was becoming much more aware of her disabilities. We were trying to help her and figure out what she could do where she wouldn’t have to sit on the sidelines anymore.”

Despite not owning an adaptive running chair, Kelli wasn’t going to wait until they could afford it, so she signed up for a 5K and pushed Ari in her wheelchair.

Serendipitously, the race benefited their local children’s hospital — where Ari had spent countless hours during her childhood.

No Stopping Now

Because Ari loved running with her mom, she kept asking to go longer and longer distances.

An adaptive running chair was a must, so the family found room in the budget.

Two weeks after their 5K, they did a 10K.

“Then Ari said, ‘Let’s do a half marathon,'” Kelli said.

Within a month, the two crossed the finish line of their first half together.

Kelli plans on using the money to acquire a chair that can be towed by a bike, and then convert to an adaptive running chair.

Until then, they’ll keep rolling along, letting the magic fill the air, all the way to the finish line — which actually is just another start line for Team Ari.

Sources- Value.com

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Isn’t that just so spectacular! 🙂 I love reading such stories. It always leaves such a tingle to my spine. What is disability? It is a matter of choosing your perspectives. With the right one, you will get what you want. Because ‘no’ does not exist in your vocabulary.

What have you been wanting to do and kept on ppprrroooccrraassttiinnaattiinnnggg on?

The moment is here.

ACT NOW! ;p

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Thanks for reading.

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Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
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You are not alone.

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SoulFul 7 – Lindsay

 

Lindsay is an amazing, selfless person who gives countless hours not only to her dog rescue, which takes in several animals needing medical care, but also to raising awareness and acceptance for children with craniofacial conditions.

The most notable dog she raised is Lentil, a French bulldog born with a double cleft lip and palate. She took him in at 2 days old, tube feeding him every two hours around the clock. Now two years old, Lentil brings smiles to the faces of children across the country who have craniofacial conditions. Children in Lentil’s Kids Club receive bravery medals and special surprises throughout the year.

She is also visiting children in their home states as part of the Chews.

Lindsay is an amazing, selfless person who gives countless hours not only to her dog rescue, which takes in several animals needing medical care, but also to raising awareness and acceptance for children with craniofacial conditions.

Lindsay now lives in Philadelphia, but grew up right here in the Mount Cobb area. After 13 years of experience with special needs rescues, she know Lentil’s condition was delicate and made a Facebook page to keep track of his health and progress.

Lindsay is an amazing, selfless person who gives countless hours not only to her dog rescue, which takes in several animals needing medical care, but also to raising awareness and acceptance for children with craniofacial conditions. The most notable dog she raised is Lentil.

Source- Values.com

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Let’s be kind to one another. That includes other species sharing the space with us.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

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​For more information on my background 

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

 

Joylight 13 – Eye Accessing Cues

Model | www.joyleng.com

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

Photographer | The Mysterious One

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Our minds and bodies have an intimate and interrelated relationship. How we move or position our bodies have a great influence on what we think about and how we think about it.

Eye accessing cues is a great way to try to build rapport with the person you are interacting with. Bear in mind that this is just a general guideline and that individual differences abounds. Still, it is useful information to have especially if you want to build rapport quickly or if it is important that the person feels that you understand what they are saying.

If you are doubtful of the usefulness of eye accessing cues, try this.

Let’s say you are feeling very guilty about something you did, where do you look?

Now, look down at your feet and try to feel very optimistic. Not quite the easiest task to do is it?

Credits – narcicu.blogspot.com

In NLP,  eye accessing cues is probably one of the better known and possibly controversial technique. NLP posits that eye accessing cues will indicate what are the thought processes a person is having and which representational systems have been activated.

Generally for right-handed people:

• Looking up and to their right suggests that they are imagining something visually (e.g. a picture).
• Looking down and to their right suggests that they are connecting with their sensations (physical or emotional).
• Looking horizontally and to their right suggests that they are imagining how something will sound like (e.g. a melody).
• Looking up and to their left suggests that they are recalling something visually (e.g. an image of a friend).
• Looking down and to their left suggests that they are talking to themselves internally, in NLP terms an internal dialogue.
• Looking horizontally and to their left suggests that they are recalling something they heard (e.g. the conversation they overheard in the lift yesterday).

For left handed people, some of it might be laterally reversed.

Don’t believe it. Try it for yourself. Get a friend and start chatting. Observe each other and see how accurate it is for both of you.

It will be fun and you might discover new things about yourself. 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

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Joylight 12: Logical Levels

Model | Charlotte Lee

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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 Do you love soft boiled eggs? Or does your preference lean towards hard boiled eggs?

Simple as it might be, I am constantly amazed at how we can change a potential soft boiled egg to hard boiled egg just by letting it boil longer. Very little needs to be done to create great changes in texture and taste.

Credits – www.seriouseats.com

Logical levels is a way to identify the underlying processes and phenomena in the relationships between ideas, things and organizations. It helps us make sense of things through hierarchies or levels of processes.

This concept of logical levels of learning and change was created by anthropologist Gregory Bateson, when he examined the work of Bertrand Russell in logic and mathematics.

These are the key questions for each of the levels –

Credits – www.metanoia.be

1. Environment (Where? When?) –

This level is about context and issues.

It can be about a specific country or a particular association of people.

2. Behavior (What?)

This is about physical action. What you do and didn’t do.

A particular behavioral response in a particular environment.

3. Capability (How?)

This relates to ability, knowledge and skills.

Behaviors are adjusted due to an enhancement of internal representation.

4. Beliefs and values (Why?)

This is the rationale and the driving force for our actions.

The overall behaviour approach will shift if there is an reinterpretation of the context.

5. Identity (Who?)

This defines our sense of self.

It can be a personal identity or a group/corporate identity.

6. Spiritual (For what? For who?)

There is actually a higher level that relates to the ultimate purpose for some people. This involves getting out of the system into larger “system of systems”. It can be religion or the vision statement of corporations.

How can it help me?

Logical levels can help you –

• Trace the origins of an issue.

– Think of an instance for someone’s reaction for a simple challenge that came up seems way out of proportion.

• Interpret information by identity which level they came from.

– If someone says ‘I don’t think that it a good idea.’ Is it a environment, behaviour, belief or identity issue?

• Decide the best intervention approach.

– By identifying which level a problem came from can help you formulate a better solution rather than addressing it from a superficial level. – Consider an instance when you had the wrong understanding of a situation and as a result, unwittingly worsen the situation by applying an inappropriate solution.

• Adjust your interactions with others.

– If you have criticism to offer, try to vary it to apply on the level of environment or behaviour to reduce negative response. If you have compliments to offer, the best effect is probably to apply it on the level of identity to reinforce someone’s sense of self.

Just like the very little difference it takes to make soft boiled eggs versus hard boiled eggs, simply by taking note of which logical levels an issue/ a situation is at can make a world of difference in the desired outcomes.

Have a joyful Friday! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
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Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

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Joylight 11: Criterial Equivalence

Model | Joy Leng and Charlotte Lee  

MUA | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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A criterion is a benchmark for judgment, demonstrating what is crucial to us.

For example, we will use abstract terms such as integrity, honesty, compassion to describe what is meant by a ‘good man.’

• But what exactly does all these terms mean?
• What is integrity to you?
• Is it the same definition for your family or your colleagues?
• Regardless of whether the answer is a yes or no, how do you know?
• How do you qualify it?

To me this is a very heavy topic.

There are many models out there trying to explain the concept and the workings of belief.

In NLP, we try to find out exactly what a concept means to somebody and we try to reflect back his/her subjective interpretation of a it to him/her for better connection and communication.

How can I use this?

Find a partner to do the following exercise.

• Ask him/her what does it mean to be ridiculous.
• What are the behaviours you will relate to it? List a few.
• How are you thinking of? What do you do/say? How other associated feelings do you when you feel ridiculous?
• Now, ask him/her to act out all that has been described for you.
• Your turn. Do the same steps that your partner just did.
• Now take turns to act out what it meant to be ridiculous to the other person.
• Reflect on the two play acting you had to do. The first to demonstrate your version of feeling ridiculous and then to demonstrate your partner’s version.
• How was same/different? To what degree? How did you feel especially when you had to act out someone else’s version of feeling ridiculous?

 REFLECTIONS

I think this should be a very enlightening exercise although it might feel very uncomfortable.

What I like about this exercise is that it can help highlight how very different and unique we are.

And we should never take for granted that a closed one will/should understand what we say or how we feel.

At the same time, we should also remember that it is impossible for someone to feel exactly how you feel and to completely comprehend every aspect of what you are going through even if they try their hardest.

Because they are not you.

You are uniquely you.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
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Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

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Joylight 10: Ecology

Peter wanted to buy the latest Jaguar. It looks so sleek to him. It was perfection. But he had agreed with his wife that they will buy a car suitable for a family of five. It will be used to ferry the children back and fro school as well as for their weekend family trips. But Peter really, really wanted to but the Jaguar. One day, he just went out and bought it. Peter has just created an ecology challenge.

Ecology is a concern for the consequences a course of action might trigger before it is actually done. To me, it is simply cause and effect.

Internal Ecology

I will describe internal ecology as your intuition.

• What does your instinct tells you about this course of action?
• Does it feel comfortable?
• Or is there a unsettling feeling when you consider a course of action?

If you feel incongruence, a sense of mismatch between what you intend to do and the feelings you get, you need to be alert and take heed of the warning sign. Seek out the source of the unease.

• Is it just that you need more information?
• Or is it a really negative sensation? Then you will need to reconsider your planned course of action.

External Ecology

No (wo)man is an island. We have our family units and we also merge into the society through the activities that we do. An external ecology check allows you to examine if your outcomes have an impact on others. If so, how so?

Best way to investigate is to pretend to be them. Close your eyes, imagine yourself as the person/people.

• How will achieving my outcomes affect other aspects of my life (people, activities, work, beliefs, lifestyle, diet)
• How will achieving my outcomes affect me and my environment (family, work, community, social circle)?
• How well does my desired outcome fit in with what others in my environment would want (partner, family, close friends)?
• How will they feel about it?
• What did they say?
• If there is any, what are their concerns?
• Does it go against their beliefs/values?
• Is it important to them?
• How great is the effect?How does your desired outcome affect them?

More on ecology here.

*** Personally, I think ecology check is extremely important. It is a very simple concept but many of us do not understand the significance. We have heard one too many stories of individuals who went out to get their desired outcomes regardless the cost. Only to arrive, lost everything else and realized that was not really what they wanted. Do not add to the statistic.

Demonstrate your love and concern for yourself and people you care about by performing simple ecology checks before making any important decisions.

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
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Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

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Joylight 9: Walt Disney Creative Strategy

​Model | Erica

MUA/Photographer | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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• Think of someone who is always sharing grandiose plans and nothing can ever dampen his hopes.
• Now, think of someone else who is always making comments like ‘get real’, ‘be realistic.’
• Lastly, think of another person who seems to be always finding fault with people or issues.
• Which one do you identity with the most? The first? Second? Or the third?

The good news is that we are all of these, just varying in degrees. And we can use these different sides of ourselves to our advantage. Really! 🙂

When the dreamer, the realist and the critic come together in a structured manner, creative ideas can be transformed into reality, provided that they are given the space to be investigated freely and separately. This process is called the Walt Disney Creative Strategy. Robert Dilts adopted the model and developed it into a NLP technique.

The Dreamer

This is the person who believes all things are possible. He can dream up the most incredulous dreams and have enormous faith that it can be done.

‘Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.’

– Edgar Allan Poe

The Realist

The realist is the one who explores all the options given by the dreamer and decided on the more probable choice. Then he/she will do the necessary research and apply a course of action.

‘I’m a realist, not a sugar coater. I believe in always letting people know what their obstacles are. And at the end of the day, I just want to be respected for my hard work.’

– Tichina Arnold

The Critic

The critic is the one who plays the Devil’s advocate. He/she will point at the areas that needs to be worked on. As negative as it sounds, the critic is an equally important part to the whole creative process. He/she can be a very useful checklist to troubleshoot potential areas before challenges arises.

“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself.”

– C.Joybell C

*** Note: It is important that the different aspects are strictly doing only what they are supposed to do so there is clear distinction and delegation of tasks. Ensure that there is no overlapping. Imagine asking the critic in you to be the dreamer, it will not be effective.

Checklist

1. Are you too stuck in one of these roles in your life? Consider varying the different sides of you.
2. What would be a likely statement your family members or close friends will say about you?

• ‘He has got his head in the clouds.’
• ‘She’s an ideas person.’
• ‘He is only interested after he sees the plan of action.’
• ‘She is good at the nuts and bolts.’
• ‘All he does is bring me down.’
• ‘She always have a reason why it cannot be done.’

How can I use this strategy?

You can do this by yourself (which might be challenging for some) or you can do this with two other friends/colleagues.

1. Pick the issue/challenge.
2. If you are doing this with others, ensure that everyone is very clear of their roles. Not one should be allowed to speak until the one speaking has made all his/her points.
3. The dreamer has to focus on all the possibilities to achieve/resolve the issue. No judgements. The realist has to analyze which possibilities should be looked into based on their strengths and weaknesses. The critic has to scrutinize what could possibly go wrong.
4. If this is meant to be an experimental/creative exercise, get everyone to switch roles until all have a chance at experiencing the three roles. If you are doing this on your own, you can take turns to play the three sides. Pace yourself. Take a short break if necessary before you play the next role so that you can mentally disconnect with your current role and prepare yourself for the next role.

I know this might sounds a little tedious but I believe that with practice, you can do this quickly in the future and with that, enhance your future outcomes. Also you might be more emphatic in your interactions with others who might be leaning more towards a particular role. Because you have been enlightened! 🙂

More insights on Walt Disney Creative Strategy here.

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative