Joylight 28 – What is the difference between counselling and coaching?

Greetings from Joylight!

Source – brightandassociates

Here comes the most common question that I have always been queried on.

What is the difference between counselling and coaching?

There are some overlaps between the two but there are still significant differences between both.

Here is a brief summary of the two.

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1. Starting Position

For counselling, the general basis is that the client has a deficit. He comes from a “minus” position. Some of his/her basic needs are not satisfied.

Example, this could be someone going through a past/present trauma or projected fears of the future that is hindering his/her from having a functional life.

For coaching, the assumption is that the client is generally balanced but wants to enhance his life or excel in certain areas. He comes from point “zero” and wants to be a “plus“.

Example, think of an athlete who wants to break his/her own personal best.

Source – mediafunnel

2. Alter or Add?

The counselling client wants to change his/her life. There is something dis-functional going on and it has to be altered in order him/her to feel a sense of well-being again. Some pictures in his/her quality world does not exist in his/her real life and he/she seeks to realize these images.

The coaching client wants to add-on to his reasonably satisfying life. However, he wants to embrace life’s fullest potential and to push for more productivity or effectiveness in certain areas of his life. The desired outcome might be more specific and quantifiable.

Source – qualitykiosk

3. Life vs Performance

A counselling client is basically not functioning. Some issue(s) in his/her life is destructive and has persistent negative effects on most/all areas of his/her life causing him/her to be dysfunctional.

A coaching client is very motivated to improve performance in a specific area of his/her life. However, unlike a counselling client, that area is already functioning on an average/average plane.

Source – nicktumminello

4. Internal vs External

A counselling client’s goal is to work towards increased well-being, unexpected positive changes in various areas of life because of a resolved issue in his/her life.

A coaching client’s goal is to achieved his/her specific goal, increase productivity and sense of well-being.

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Research on coaching for students has shown that

Respondents indicated that coaching had the strongest impact in the following areas:

• Increased self-confidence and self-awareness
• Learned how to view situations with different perspectives.
• Better Organization and Time Management
• Improvement in Grades

– Theresa L., Kristen R. (2009)

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Source – connections.teenchallengeusa

SELF EVALUATION

1. What are you looking for? Counselling or coaching?
2. What is your desired outcome?
3. How are you going to achieve it?

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you? 

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

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• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.

You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me(at)joyleng.com​

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

Joy’s Insights 4 – Sayonara Pain

Model | Annabel

MUA/Photog | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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My brother told me a joke. I laughed to tears. He told me the same joke again and I laughed but not as hard. He kept repeating the joke and I stopped laughing. He said, “If you can’t laugh at the same joke over and over again, why do you keep crying over people who hurt you over and over again?”

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I did not have a happy childhood. I was adopted. It was as if someone used a stick with burning coal and imprinted that into my soul. All I can remember from my childhood was acute pain. A. Lot. Of. Pain. Alone. It was all intense and emotional. Lots of tears of course. The years were filled with a lot of whys.

Even as an adult, the pain was my constant companion. Sometimes it felt like my only true friend. By then I was very capable of acting like a normal person although I felt far from normal. I was the odd one out. There is something wrong with me.

But all the dancing and modeling training helped. To ‘act’ like all is good and be professional about it. The unorthodox method of therapy I used on myself. It worked only to the extent of deceiving others and myself. But deep down I knew, I was in agony and the tears are always just beneath the surface. But I always smile. Instead.

This was why I was absorbing anything that was motivational. I was a sinking woman grabbing anything within reach, emotionally and spiritually famished. I went on a learning rampage. From Anthony Robbins to Dalai Lama. I didn’t realized till now. Silly as it is, that I was looking for a cure. I was sick in my mind and I had a hole in my soul. I wanted fixing. I was looking for an antidote.

It finally came. From myself. I was the cure I was looking for. CTRT and NLP helped. I had extreme love and belonging needs. I used achievements to satisfy my power needs. So I could pacify myself that at least some of my needs were met. I had freedom needs too that were not satisfied. Because I had forgiveness issues. I was playing the victim. I did not allow myself the freedom to live my life.

I was my own prisoner.

I realized the sickness was my choice. I created that hole. I can now choose to continue sinking in my mud hole or I can cover it up.

I have choices.

Wow.

That’s new information for me. Sure, the adults made the choices they did which changed my life. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s my life. Their actions ended there.

My choice is still here.

Yesterday, today. Every day.

My past did not have to define me. But I was so caught up in the pain I felt was inflicted on me. I stayed in the pain. That was my choice of life. For years. Shocking but I did all that to myself. And pointed fingers at everyone but myself for my pain.

Redemption.

The dangerous thing about awareness is that once you have it, you cannot pretend to be ignorant. Powerful stuff but it demands courage to be responsible. The hurting stops here. Stops now.

I am a free spirit once again.

I free everyone from the blame. And I free myself from the pain. The hole has been covered up with love. I feel overwhelming love from this decision. The love I pretended I didn’t have. Freedom is intoxicating. Especially freedom to live.

I give that to myself. Today.

Stop living in your imaginary pain whatever it is that you think you are suffering from in your life. Sure, people and circumstances can present a situation which you do not perceived as pleasurable or right.

But that does not mean you don’t have choices.

That does not mean that something/someone other than yourself is controlling you.

If it is true, YOU gave up your power.

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“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

– Alice Walker

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Who are you blaming for what?

Stop the blame game.

Time to live.

Make your choice.

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt  

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

SoulFul 16 – Good or Bad, Who Knows?

The Story of the Taoist Farmer

This farmer had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to condole over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “What makes you think it is so terrible?”

A month later, the horse came home–this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbors became excited at the farmer’s good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, “What makes you think this is good fortune?”

The farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, “What makes you think it is bad?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg, remained. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “What makes you think this is good?” said the farmer.

Source – Elise Hancock

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Notice how the brain is so eager to jump to conclusions? It is our constant need to find a reason for everything that is going on. But perhaps sometimes there is no need for that.

And could it be possible that it does not help the situation?

And whatever conclusions that you have decided in your head is not necessarily empowering you?

Be kind to yourself. Don’t over engage the brain.

Focus on what can be done, what is within your own power. The rest will sort itself out. 🙂

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative