Joy’s Insights 6 – Lessons from a Woof!

Anyone who have met my furball, sensual, will know how she is simply the best dog in the world.

Ok fine, I am completely biased.  But hey, aren’t all dog owners the same? 🙂

One of the reason why she is the best canine to me is because of the invaluable lessons I have learnt from her. She is a great teacher.

Incredible but true.

SENSUAL’S PAW FOR WISDOM

1. You don’t need a reason to be happy.

When I first had her, I was very puzzled why she was bouncing around all day long and she will repeat the same happy behaviour every day. I could not understand why she was always so joyful. It was seriously very confusing for me.

Then slowly I realized that she is just that.

Happy.

She did not see the need to find a reason to be happy.

On the contrary, I did! My over-thinking and over stimulated brain needed justification for everything. Yes, including a reason to be happy. Shocking.

2. I Love You and I will show you how!

If anyone is a mistress of the seven caring habits, that will be none other than sensual. When someone comes home, she will start her maniac race to the door, absolutely wild and delirious. She will run up and down crazily just so that she can come towards you again. Her tail will whip at a 1,000 miles per second.

She will be one crazy ecstatic dog bursting with joy.

As her total behaviour demonstrated, you will have no doubt in your head, you have just exploded her world with love and joy, just because you are home. Can’t deny that makes me feel like a million bucks.

I had to learn that from her, that if you care, you have to show it.

You cannot assume that someone knows that already. And if you have to be a bit more open about it, you just do it.

Everyone wants to feel love and affection.

Unfortunately our Asian mentality keeps us all shy and we find it hard to demonstrate care and concern. I am still working on it. And sensual’s daily behaviour is a handy reminder for me.

3. Good things are worth the wait.

When I head to the kitchen or when I open the fridge, sensual is always on HIGH FOOD ALERT. Even as I sit down to eat, she will sit there and stare at me.

She will wait….

And wait….

And wait….

She will take however long it takes for me to give in. Until at some point I have to surrender and find something for her on my plate or in her food corner. Doesn’t matter, her staring demands that she also gets food. And more often than me, yes, she wins.

Good things are worth the wait. Woof!

Indeed, how many times I am so anxious to see results. I will decide on a new habit and after one week, I give up because i feel that I cannot really see much results. Or I will embark on learning a new skill and decide all too quickly that it was too tedious, time-consuming and whatever excuses I can think of to justify that I should stop doing it.

Patience.

Sometimes, that is really all I need.

Sensual is a living furry testimonial to it.

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“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.”

– Josh Billings

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What did you learn from your pet(s)?

Share it with me. 🙂

It’s humbling how much we can learn from them.

Have a happy, loving and patient day ahead. Woof! ;p
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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

​ Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session. You are not alone.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

SoulFul 22 – Truman Duncan

Video –

http://tvnz.co.nz/20-20-news/live-tell-video-2671926

Truman Duncan was working as a railroad switchman in June 2006. He fell in the devastating path of two moving freight cars. Although he survived, he was not left intact. Duncan’s body was severed in half. His pelvis was sliced in two by the wheels.

He says he, “ended up falling off and when I did I stood up and the end of the car just hit me in the chest…I grabbed a hold of it and I was hanging on by the knuckle. And I had decided to actually run backwards and kind of just jump out of the way.” He still had the remarkable sense to grab his cell phone and call 911. “I knew all I needed to do was just, you know, wait until help got there and then maybe I’d have a chance.”

We call him Truman the Trouper because he waited a whopping 45 minutes for help to arrive. We can get a pizza delivered faster than that, or it’s free.

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Living proof that human beings can beat impossible odds.

• How great is your will to live?
• How much greater is your will to live a quality life, whatever that is for you?

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

​ Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session. You are not alone.

Email – me@joyleng.com

For information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

Joy’s Insights 5 – Learning to say NO

YES                          NO

I never realized that it was a difficult word for me. I am so used to always trying to say yes and when I should say no, chances is I will make excuses. Because for some reason I have it in my head that it is bad to say no and it is rude. Does it feel the same for you?

Recently I had an occasion where I had to say no even though it was something that was generally understood to be a yes from me. But as the situation evolves as it always does, I realized that saying yes is no longer realistic. I will be overwhelmed and unhappy if I give in to a yes. What started out as an adventure was starting to feel like a burden.

I delayed my response and I had a hard time wrestling with myself for a few days as to what my answer should be. Finally, I decided it has to be a no because my focus is clear and strictly speaking it is not in my priorities at the moment. It is not directly related to my immediate focus.

Also, I feared that if I said yes out of guilt, the days ahead will grow the ‘no’ in my head into a huge, untamable beast where I will then have to bear the ugly consequences. Which could include a waste of other people’s time and effort. Most importantly, that can be perceived as a breach of trust and integrity, values that I uphold in my life.

I took a deep breath and replied. It was a no. And yes, it came with much explanation. I guess I could not avoid that part. But at least, it was a new learning experience for me. To say no.

My curiosity started a quick google on this issue and I am comforted at my discovery. According to TIME, you can die if you don’t learn to say no. From extended stress. So I guess I’m going to say yes to living another day. 🙂

Fortune recommends to have a 24 hour pause period before accepting any invitation. So it seems like my pause of a few days (albeit longer) to respond was a good idea after all.

I am proud of myself because I think in a way I went inside myself to decide on my response instead of giving a knee-jerk reaction. By doing so, I stayed centred to my priorities and did not give in to external control.

• Something for you to think about too?
• Or are you an expert in saying no?

If so, do comment!

I would love to hear your tips and ideas too.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

​ Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session. You are not alone.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

SoulFul 20 – Jessica Cox

 

Well known for being the first pilot to fly a plane using ONLY feet, Jessica Cox was born WITHOUT arms but this deficiency was ineffective to stop this wonder lady from capturing her goals. A graduate in psychology, holder of two black belts in Taekwondo, fond of fast driving, Jessica can also type 25 words/minute on computer and surprisingly she can put contact lenses in eyes, using her feet. She is also a motivational speaker and encourages disable people to change their stereotyped mentality.

Source – Topyaps.com

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This has got to be one of my favourite SoulFul individual. She is extremely inspiring for me especially since I am interested to learn flying too but is a little nervous about it. But I will keep Jessica’s simple words of truth in mind. Just do it.

What she says and does are in alignment. She could have mope about her disability and how the life have dealt her a cruel blow. After all, no one could figure out why she was born that way.

Instead, she choose to be positive and to go about fulfilling everything she wanted to do in life. Extraordinary. Because of that, she fulfilled her power needs, she knew who she was and the more she did it, the more she rewarded herself with greater self empowerment. Along with it, she also fulfilled her freedom and fun needs. Awesome! 🙂

• What have you been wanting to do but is nervous about?
• Or what have you been waiting to improve on but always has a reason not o?

Remember, JUST DO IT. 🙂

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Need someone to talk to? Seek clarity to your thoughts? Refocus on your life goals?​

Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free30 minutes session. You are not alone.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

 

Joy’s Insights 4 – Sayonara Pain

Model | Annabel

MUA/Photog | https://www.facebook.com/StilettoesRoseMakeUpandPhotography

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My brother told me a joke. I laughed to tears. He told me the same joke again and I laughed but not as hard. He kept repeating the joke and I stopped laughing. He said, “If you can’t laugh at the same joke over and over again, why do you keep crying over people who hurt you over and over again?”

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I did not have a happy childhood. I was adopted. It was as if someone used a stick with burning coal and imprinted that into my soul. All I can remember from my childhood was acute pain. A. Lot. Of. Pain. Alone. It was all intense and emotional. Lots of tears of course. The years were filled with a lot of whys.

Even as an adult, the pain was my constant companion. Sometimes it felt like my only true friend. By then I was very capable of acting like a normal person although I felt far from normal. I was the odd one out. There is something wrong with me.

But all the dancing and modeling training helped. To ‘act’ like all is good and be professional about it. The unorthodox method of therapy I used on myself. It worked only to the extent of deceiving others and myself. But deep down I knew, I was in agony and the tears are always just beneath the surface. But I always smile. Instead.

This was why I was absorbing anything that was motivational. I was a sinking woman grabbing anything within reach, emotionally and spiritually famished. I went on a learning rampage. From Anthony Robbins to Dalai Lama. I didn’t realized till now. Silly as it is, that I was looking for a cure. I was sick in my mind and I had a hole in my soul. I wanted fixing. I was looking for an antidote.

It finally came. From myself. I was the cure I was looking for. CTRT and NLP helped. I had extreme love and belonging needs. I used achievements to satisfy my power needs. So I could pacify myself that at least some of my needs were met. I had freedom needs too that were not satisfied. Because I had forgiveness issues. I was playing the victim. I did not allow myself the freedom to live my life.

I was my own prisoner.

I realized the sickness was my choice. I created that hole. I can now choose to continue sinking in my mud hole or I can cover it up.

I have choices.

Wow.

That’s new information for me. Sure, the adults made the choices they did which changed my life. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s my life. Their actions ended there.

My choice is still here.

Yesterday, today. Every day.

My past did not have to define me. But I was so caught up in the pain I felt was inflicted on me. I stayed in the pain. That was my choice of life. For years. Shocking but I did all that to myself. And pointed fingers at everyone but myself for my pain.

Redemption.

The dangerous thing about awareness is that once you have it, you cannot pretend to be ignorant. Powerful stuff but it demands courage to be responsible. The hurting stops here. Stops now.

I am a free spirit once again.

I free everyone from the blame. And I free myself from the pain. The hole has been covered up with love. I feel overwhelming love from this decision. The love I pretended I didn’t have. Freedom is intoxicating. Especially freedom to live.

I give that to myself. Today.

Stop living in your imaginary pain whatever it is that you think you are suffering from in your life. Sure, people and circumstances can present a situation which you do not perceived as pleasurable or right.

But that does not mean you don’t have choices.

That does not mean that something/someone other than yourself is controlling you.

If it is true, YOU gave up your power.

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“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

– Alice Walker

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Who are you blaming for what?

Stop the blame game.

Time to live.

Make your choice.

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt  

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂

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• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative

Joy’s Insights 1 – Self Talk

When I was 16 years old, I was not exactly the happiest teenager out there. I had a deep self-esteem issue. My chin will be mopping the floor when I walk. I always felt inferior to my peers. I had an intense belief that I was not good enough.

Even at that tender age, I knew drastic measures needed to be taken to take myself out of the depths of my self imposed misery. I was my own prisoner.

I had a turbulence childhood. I had no best friend nor was I close to my family. There was no one else. I had such acute love and belonging needs that were not met.

I had to be my own coach or sink forever.

I did observe that I was always asking myself depressing questions that sank me to greater despair. My questions were always ‘why’. And the assumption underlying my questions was always that control of my life was not my own.

I was playing the victim.

And I was very good at it.

I was viciously repeating the soap opera in my head over and over again with my very negative self talk.

Sounds familiar?

As I grew older, I got curious about self help books. It was an ‘ah ha’ moment for me when I chanced upon a chapter on self talk. I finally got it. I was asking the wrong questions and phrasing it wrongly!

I stopped asking all the very lethal ‘why’ questions and started to ask ‘how’.

It steered my brain in a whole new direction.

When a ‘why’ question was necessary, I phrased it with care, with positive words and a clear focus.

And only if it served my higher purpose.

Today, it gives me so much joy to be able to help others do the same.

My experiences have shown me that

how you talk to yourself is a great influencer in

WHERE you are going and

WHO you become.

If I can do it, you can. And you must. 🙂

Namaste,

Joy

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Thanks for reading.

P.S. Have you downloaded my free life coaching app for you?

Please rate it if you can. Much thanks.

ON your Joylight! 🙂
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• Need someone to talk to?
• Seek clarity to your thoughts?
• Refocus on your life goals?​​
• Or to resolve a challenging issue in your life?

Contact me for a free 30 minutes session.
You are not alone.

The sky is only the beginning.

Email – me@joyleng.com​

 

​For more information on my background

For Our Children (FOC) initiative